All We Have, We Lose
by greatest-change
Summary: Their relationship had been non-exclusive for several years, but both of them knew that the other wanted more. However, it wasn't so easy when Sasuke was unable to fully come to terms with his own feelings. But what happens when Naruto gets offered an internship that involves going abroad for three years? Will Sasuke finally give in, or will he let go? NaruSasu


**A/N: If you want to read the full smut scene, you'll have to go on AO3. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its characters.**

It was around 10 p.m. when Sasuke arrived at his—or rather—Neji's house. It had been a long day at work and all he wanted was some peace and quiet. But of course he knew that that would be impossible with the amount of cars parked in the lot.

He opened the unlocked door and was greeted by none other than a bunch of strangers in the huge living room space. Some were dancing while others stood off to the side and conversed with one another.

Sasuke rolled his eyes in annoyance as he took off his shoes and made his way behind a few people that were dancing off-tempo to the fast-paced k-pop music that was coming from a laptop nearby. As he made his way through more people, he noticed Neji standing over by a wall, arms crossed, and looking just as annoyed as him.

The brown-haired roommate raised an eyebrow at Sasuke as he came up and mirrored his position on the wall.

"I figured you'd head straight for your room once you came through the door.

"I'm full of surprises," Sasuke said dryly. "When are they leaving?"

"I told Tenten and Lee that they couldn't stay any later than one."

Sasuke looked around for his other two roommates and spotted them both sitting beside each other on the kitchen countertop. They were in the center of a large group of people that were encouraging them to take shots.

"You're really going to let those two drink?" Sasuke hissed. He was mostly referring to Lee. Everyone knew how out of control the guy could get whenever alcohol was concerned.

Neji shrugged. "I figured I'd let them indulge just this once."

"Whatever. Just make sure your girlfriend doesn't puke all over the floor like the last time, _and_ that the both of them clean this mess up in the morning."

"Deal."

The conversation paused briefly after that, and Sasuke took that time to around the room. His eyes landed on the familiar faces that were sitting on the long couch, which had been pushed to the back of the room along with the table.

His friend, Shikamaru, was lodged in-between a blonde girl named Ino and a larger boy named Chōji. The two that were surrounding the spiky haired man seemed to be talking about something rather excitedly, although one really wouldn't have been able to tell how 'exciting' it was from the look on Shikamaru's face.

Kiba sat a little ways off from Chōji with his arm draped around his girlfriend that Sasuke always forgot existed (even though she was Neji's cousin). The girl shyly played with her hair as her boyfriend talked with their other friend that Sasuke didn't know, but due to the fact that he was wearing sunglasses inside, Sasuke didn't really want to know him.

Only two people were noticeably absent amongst that group.

"Naruto and Sakura will be here shortly," Neji said offhandedly. "I overheard Ino say that they were in the middle of a conversation and would be running late."

Sasuke felt himself stiffen. Neji gave him a look but he pretended not to notice.

"I see," he let out.

"Is everything going alright between you two? You and Naruto, I mean?"

"Is that any of your business?"

"No. But I just thought that you'd want a lending ear. You've been a lot crankier than usual lately. And there's the fact that you always get that pouty look on your face whenever you and your boyfriend get into an argument."

Sasuke glowered. "He's not my boyfriend."

Neji shrugged. "Sure. Whatever you say."

"Neji! Neji!" Someone yelled from off to the side. They both looked over and saw Tenten standing on top of the kitchen counter, red faced and drunk. She swayed her hips from side to side and held a heavy bottle of vodka in her hands.

"These guys," she pointed down at the people below her that were cheering her on, "don't think that I can drink this entire thing all by myself. I'm gonna make 'em wish they never doubted the one and only Tenten…err, whatever my last name is."

She raised the bottle up in the air towards her boyfriend. "Cheers, baby!"

"Yeah, go Tenten!" Lee yelled from below. He was still sitting on the kitchen counter, but now he was banging his fists against it and cheering just as loud as everybody else. Obviously he was just as drunk as Tenten was.

"…I think that your girlfriend and that green-faced idiot might need a little bit of assistance," Sasuke said.

Neji unfolded his arms and pushed himself off of the wall.

"I don't know why I thought this would have ended up any differently," he muttered and walked over to the kitchen to urge Tenten to get down.

Sasuke watched the hilarious scene with a smirk on his face. It suited Neji right after putting his nose in business that it didn't belong.

After watching the scene for a few more seconds, he calmly walked over to the other side of the room and sat down on one of the outer edges of the couch, next to the sunglasses guy.

"I see that stoner-group of yours isn't with you, Uchiha," Kiba said.

"Oh yeah, where are they, Sasuke? That chick with the red hair is hot!" Ino cut in as she dislodged herself from her previous conversation with Chōji.

Sasuke felt his eye twitch at the nosey group, but briefly he thought about his other friends. Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo were all in his same field of study. They'd met in their freshman year of college for a project in their class. Pretty soon after that, they all ended up going out for drinks and hanging out in each other's dorm rooms, all the while sneaking in some illegal beverages. They were a wild group, but Sasuke admittedly enjoyed their company whenever he wasn't feeling like himself.

Just before he could answer Kiba and Ino's question with a snarky reply, the door opened at the front of the house and Naruto and Sakura appeared through it.

"Hey, everyone!" Naruto said with a smile as he and Sakura took off their shoes and placed them near the door with the others.

Everyone who heard him (save for Sasuke) replied with a wave or 'hello'. Sakura had a smile of her own, but remained quiet.

"Come and sit down, guys," Ino urged in her loud and overly eager voice. "Scoot over Chōji! You too, Shikamaru!"

Both boys sighed and did as their friend commanded. Naruto and Sakura walked over and sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Sasuke. Briefly, Naruto's eyes met with his just before he sat down.

"Man, I can't believe that a lot of us are graduating in two weeks." Kiba said and pulled away from Hinata (Sasuke had just remembered her name) to lean back into the couch. Hinata frowned and leaned back into the couch as well to be in the same position once again.

Naruto nodded in agreement with Kiba. "I know what you mean, bro. It feels like just yesterday when you and I were running around and tee-peeing fraternity houses."

"That was you guys?!" Chōji asked in shock. "I had to do clean up duty that entire week!"

Naruto and Kiba's eyes meet briefly and then they busted out into hysterical laughter. Everybody else on the couch joined in, too.

Well…_almost_ everybody.

While Naruto wasn't looking, Sasuke analyzed his demeanor. His laugh, for the most part, sounded believable to the other people on the couch, but Sasuke had known Naruto way longer than the rest of them that he could tell it was forced. The look in his eyes held a sadness that only Sasuke could see. He was the one to blame for it after all.

_**A Few Days Ago…**_

_They moved together forcefully into Sasuke's bedroom, lips attached firmly as they went. Sasuke brought his arms up around Naruto's broad shoulders and Naruto, in turn, brought his hands own to Sasuke's waist and held him close, making sure that their bodies stayed together. They had always fit so perfectly—at least that's what Sasuke always thought. _

_It had all happened so unexpectedly between them. They had met in their second year of high school. Sasuke had been a transfer student due to unfortunate circumstances with his older brother, Itachi, being deathly ill and having to be moved up coast to another hospital. He didn't have any friends, nor did he really want any, but on the second week of school Naruto had come up to him and offered to show him around town. _

_At first Sasuke wanted absolutely nothing to do with Naruto and practically told him off on that day, but later on when he was sitting in the cafeteria all by himself, Naruto appeared beside him and sat down. The only thing he said was "you're a bastard" and then proceeded to eat his lunch. _

_Soon enough they became best friends, and ultimately connected in a way that was unlike any of the other previous friendships they had before. But somewhere down the road, the lines got blurred and Sasuke started to see Naruto in a completely different light. And from the subtle-but-not-so-subtle looks that he would sometimes get from his friend, Sasuke could tell that Naruto was feeling the same way._

_It was only when Itachi died that things officially changed between them. There was anger, yelling, distance, crying, and then, finally, comfort. A simple kiss was shared, which led to more kisses, and that somehow transferred to where they were now; six years later, in college, and with Naruto wanting to fuck him into whatever had a surface. And of course Sasuke had no objections. _

_As they continued their hot kiss, Sasuke brought them to the other side of the room. He was trying to find the bed, but instead they mistakenly ended up against a dresser. He moaned at the sting he felt in his back combined with the grind of Naruto's hips against his clothed erection. Naruto took that as an opportunity to delve deeper inside of Sasuke's mouth._

_Sasuke never really liked to think about how they suddenly went from point A to C in what felt like such a small fragment of time. When they were in public they seemed like normal best friends (though everyone practically knew what was going on between them), with a tendency to bicker at each other like an old married couple, but when they were alone it was entirely different. Whatever it was between them sparked something incredible inside of Sasuke. It was something that only Naruto seemed to be able to bring out. He knew this because he tried before to get that feeling from someone else, but in the end it did not compare to what he had with Naruto. It was written in the stars that Naruto Uzumaki was the only person in the world that would truly be able to dance with the flames burning inside of his soul._

_Their tongues slicked across one another, but when Naruto licked at the roof of Sasuke's mouth, Sasuke couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Naruto pulled away slightly and then placed closed mouthed kisses on Sasuke's now red and plump lips. _

"_We need to talk," Naruto said in between them._

_Sasuke recalled Naruto saying that once he arrived, but he ignored him nonetheless in favor of their current activities._

"_No. We _need_ to take off our clothes," he said matter-of-factly, only to pull away and look the other in his heavy, blue-lidded eyes. Their breaths mingled together due to the close proximity of their mouths. Sasuke spoke again, but this time with a low and titillating voice that never failed to make Naruto's pupils dilate. _

"_The house is empty tonight and we can be as loud as we want. I know how much you like to get off to the sound of me screaming your name."_

"_Nnn," Naruto moaned when Sasuke leaned forward and playfully tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth. Their tongues found each other once more, and soon enough they were kissing more passionately than before, mutual moans being expressed as they went along. But when Sasuke began to unbutton the top of his dress shirt, Naruto grabbed him by the hands and took a step back. _

"_Dammit, Sasuke! I'm serious. I have to talk to you about something and you keep distractin' me!" _

"_Can't it wait? From the looks of it, it doesn't seem like you want to talk," Sasuke said and stared openly at the other's hard on. _

_A blush appeared on Naruto's scarred cheeks. "Well, that wouldn't be the case if you had let me get a word in before literally attacking me at the door!" he shot back. With a sigh, he backed away completely, and Sasuke had to keep himself from stepping forward to close the gap between them again. _

"_Fine. What is it?" he asked. The sooner this conversation was over, the sooner he would be getting laid._

_Naruto took a deep breath before answering with a question of his own._

"_Remember that writing professor that I'm always going on about? The one that travels around the world and writes books?"_

"_You haven't shut up about that guy since you had that class with him last semester," Sasuke said pointedly, with the slightest bit of jealousy tacked on._

_Naruto let out a peculiar laugh, and that started off the warning bells in Sasuke's head. _

"_I'm not into older guys, bastard. Plus, the dude's a total perv. But anyway, today he offered to me and three other students a chance to work as interns after we graduate in a couple of weeks. He also said that he thinks that he can get me a couple of teaching assistant jobs as we travel overseas for the next few years."_

_The amount of pride that wedged its way inside of Sasuke quickly dissipated when he heard that last sentence in full. Overseas? Traveling? Years?_

"_You're leaving?" he asked._

_Naruto bit his lip and looked away for a moment, but then his cerulean eyes met Sasuke's once again._

"_Maybe. I haven't decided yet. It could be for three years…give or take four. Jiraiya doesn't like staying in the same place that often. After we all graduate he wants to get the first ticket out of here."_

"_Do you want to go?" Sasuke asked blatantly. _

"_I told him to give me a day to think about it."_

"_That's a fairly short time to decide don't you think? Unless you already know what you want to do."_

_Naruto looked at him with earnest eyes. "It's a good opportunity for me, and I'd be pretty stupid to turn it down. But if I had a reason to stay…" he trailed off. _

_Sasuke glared. "What are you saying exactly?" _

"_Come on, we both know what I'm trying to say." _

"_Well I know what it sounds like. It sounds like you want me to make this decision for you—as if I have any control in what you do with your life. We're not a couple, Naruto."_

_This time Naruto glared, Sasuke's words obviously triggering something inside of him. _

"_What are we doing then, Sasuke? Please. Enlighten me." _

_Sasuke paused and stared at the other. It wasn't like Naruto hadn't asked this question before, but every time he did Sasuke found ways to dance around that taboo of a topic, or just blatantly ignore Naruto. However, this time as they stared at one another, unmoving—it was different. _

"_This isn't about us. This is about you," he finally said. _

"_Why is it so hard for you to answer one simple question?" Naruto asked with irritation edged in his voice. _

"_If it's that easy then why don't you tell me what I am to_ you_?" Sasuke fired back. _

_Naruto took a step forward and kept that intense look in his eyes as he did so. "You're a lot more to me than just some random fuck buddy, that's for damn sure. We've been together too long for something like that to define what we have. _

"_You've always turned the other way, or just outright ignored me when I've said it, but I'll _keep_ saying it until you finally wrap it around that stubborn head of yours. I want you, Sasuke, in more ways than just one. I always have. And I'm tired of pretending that this doesn't mean more to me when it means _everything_ to me. Deep down I know that you feel the same way, but for some reason you just don't want to admit it to yourself, or me." _

_At the same time during that speech, Naruto had gotten closer and placed his hands at either sides of Sasuke's face forcing him to meet his pleading eyes. _

"_Just meet me halfway here," he spoke softly this time. "Please." _

_Sasuke's heart was beating fast and loudly in his chest. A part of him wanted to lean forward and kiss Naruto to the moon and back, but there was something else telling him to get away from this dangerous man that ignited a fire inside of him that only he had control over. _

_And Sasuke ended up listening to the latter. _

"_I think you should leave," he ended up saying. __He took Naruto's hands from his face and looked away as he said, "I think you should leave."_

_It was a lie, an outright lie, and he secretly hoped that Naruto would see right through it, just like he did with everything else that Sasuke lied about._

_But instead he was met with nothing else but silence._

_He couldn't even bring himself to look back when he heard Naruto's loud footsteps as he exited the room and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. _

_Sasuke slowly walked over to his bed and sat down. _

It's for the best, _he told himself. There was no way in hell that he would be the one to hold Naruto back from something that only came by once in a blue moon. Feelings be damned._

_Had Sasuke said exactly what he wanted to say, Naruto would have stayed and ended up resenting him later on in life. And that would have killed Sasuke in more ways than any thing else ever could. _

_But in letting Naruto go right then and there, at least one of them would end up surviving the heartache._

**Present Day**

Sasuke stared off at anything and everything that wasn't in Naruto's direction, whom of which was laughing at another one of Kiba's lame jokes. He had no idea why he even bothered to stick around for this stupid party anyway. Maybe it was because he was feeling sentimental, due to the fact that he was graduating and probably wouldn't be seeing a good majority of these people after that.

_Who am I kidding? I just wanted a chance to see him, _Sasuke thought.

Suddenly a drink appeared in front of his face. When he looked up, he saw that it was Neji's offering

"Thanks," he said as he took the drink. When Neji sat down beside him, Sasuke briefly looked over into the kitchen. "Where's Tenten and Lee?" he asked.

"I took them upstairs. They both fell asleep rather quickly."

"I know you said that you had a thing for threesomes back when you were in high school, but that's definitely one hell of a combination."

"Always the lewd one, aren't you, Sasuke?" Neji asked dryly.

Sasuke smiled and brought the cup to his lips.

He accidentally turned his head back to the direction that he'd been meaning to avoid and caught Naruto staring at him. Surprised by this, Sasuke almost choked on his drink.

"You okay," Neji asked, concerned. He gave Sasuke a few rough hits on the back.

Sasuke merely nodded and shook the other off.

"Oh, Naruto, congrats on the internship by the way!" Ino's voice boomed over the music. She gave Sakura a wink and then turned her attention back to Naruto.

"What's she talking about, bro?" Kiba asked out of curiosity.

Suddenly everyone had gone silent and looked over at Naruto in anticipation. Said man looked shocked at the sudden attention he was getting.

"Err…well…"

Sakura nudged him in the side, "Oh, just tell them!"

Naruto laughed and scratched at the back of his head. It was a sign Sasuke knew all too well that indicated he was either embarrassed, nervous, or both.

There was another moment of silence before Sakura finally got impatient.

"Naruto accepted this internship from his writing professor. Now he gets to travel around the world for a couple of years! Isn't that's amazing, guys?"

"Naruto, that's great," Shikamaru said first, which came as a surprise since he hadn't really spoken that much the entire night.

"Yeah, that's awesome man!" Chōji chimed in.

All around the couch people began to offer their congratulations while Naruto blushed and stammered out his thanks.

Neji looked over at Sasuke, who was being remarkably silent.

"So this is what you've been so upset about," he analyzed.

Sasuke said nothing. He just looked at Naruto and saw the undeniable happiness in his eyes at all of the support he was getting from his friends.

This was actually happening. Naruto was going to be leaving in a couple of weeks and walking out of his life. The indescribable and gut-wrenching feeling of disappointment struck him. It wasn't so much of a shock that Naruto actually went through with accepting the offer, more-so it was the fact that Naruto leaving would only prove what Sasuke had been trying so hard not to believe all of this time: that he could never have or keep anyone that was important to him in his life.

In that moment he thought of Itachi. His one and only brother that he loved so dearly—ripped away in an instant. Although Naruto wasn't dying, the situation was still relatively the same. Sasuke was going to lose the one and, arguably, _only_ person that ever really knew him. And pretty soon the emptiness that he managed to overcome in the past five years would slowly come back and greet him as if it were an old friend.

"I need another drink," he muttered.

* * *

Sasuke took another shot of vodka and placed it down next to the other two empty glasses. He was now in the kitchen with the guys from earlier. They had all introduced themselves, but he didn't even bother to try and remember their names.

He reached out and grabbed the bottle of vodka, pouring himself three more shots. He was a little pissed at the other people for drinking all of the heavier stuff, but he settled with it. Perhaps after this party he'd meet up with Suigetsu and the others for something more hardcore.

"Dude, are you really going to drink all of those?"

When Sasuke looked over there was a brunet haired man standing beside him and staring down at his drinks like a lap dog. Sasuke sent him a glare before bringing the first shot up to his mouth and downing it. His eyesight went blurry for a second, but he shook it off and and reached for another. Just as he picked up his second glass, someone's hand appeared from behind him and took the drink out of his own.

"I think you're at your limit."

Sasuke blinked at his now empty hand and then turned to look at Naruto. His normally warm and bright eyes were hard and dark under the poor lighting of the kitchen. It reminded him of all those times when they were both in the mood for rough play and Naruto hovered above him, thrusting inside, fast and relentless. His eyes held passion; they were the lighter that set match.

Sasuke gave Naruto another look before taking the last shot glass off the counter and throwing it back before Naruto could even utter another word.

"I know what my own limit is, and I don't need a babysitter. So get the fuck away from me."

"Ooooh!" A couple of the other drunken people said in unison as they eavesdropped. Or maybe Sasuke said that louder than he intended?

Naruto ignored them nonetheless and placed the glass that was still holding on to the kitchen countertop before grabbing Sasuke by the elbow. He led them through the living room and down hallway to where his room was. Some of their friends had noticed them as they passed, but they didn't make an effort to ask what was going on.

At first Sasuke tried to escape from the strong hold on his arm, but eventually he gave up and let himself be pulled.

When they finally reached Sasuke's room, Naruto pushed him inside and closed the door behind them.

"Is this the part where we undress and I let you fuck me against the door?" Sasuke joked bitterly.

Naruto just stared at him . "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I just figured you'd want one last round with me before you go off for three years and find someone new to fuck."

Naruto folded his arms across his chest. "I forgot how much you liked to talk without a filter when you're drunk."

Sasuke felt dread in the pit of his stomach when the other hadn't denied his words.

"Trust me, there's a lot more that I'd like to say right now, but I don't want to waste my breath," he finally said. "Why are you even here?"

"It's not like I really want to be. Sakura made me come."

"Yeah, right. If anything that was just the opportunity you needed to rave about that stupid job."

Naruto glared. "You must be really drunk if you don't even recall the fact that I wasn't even the one to bring it up in the first place. And if you think that you have _any_ reason to be angry with me for my decision—"

"Oh, please spare me the monologue from the 'I'm Naruto and I deserve everything' speech," Sasuke interrupted.

Naruto's eyes widened, but to Sasuke's surprise, instead of responding he just turned around and put his hand on the doorknob, preparing to leave. Just as he was about to open the door he looked back.

"Ya know, everybody else is happy for me. And I know that it should make me excited for what comes next, but it just…doesn't. Not honestly, I mean. Because the only thing I can think about is you and what happened the other night. It's pathetic, really, to have everybody else's encouragement and acknowledgment, but not be completely satisfied because I don't have _you_."

"That's your problem, Naruto," Sasuke said. "You want everything_, _and when you don't get what you want, you whine. Just be honest with yourself and admit that I'm the unattainable final prize to your collection of achievements that you need in order to feel validated."

At that, Naruto became visibly angry. He fully turned back around and came forward to stand only a few inches from Sasuke's face. He almost looked even taller than he normally was.

"That's not true and you know it, bastard. Don't ever try to downplay my feelings for you like that again."

Sasuke scoffed. "Feelings?"

"Yes, _feelings_! Oh, but my mistake. It's probably something that you're unfamiliar with."

"Get. Out," Sasuke said. The venom in his voice was unmistaken.

"Heh. You don't have to worry about that. At least it's better out there with the people who actually _want_ me."

With that Naruto turned and opened the door, effectively walking out.

Sasuke stood there in the unlit room, visibly shaking with anger at those last few words. Didn't Naruto know? Didn't he see why Sasuke was doing what he was doing? Didn't Naruto know that this was hurting him just as much?

_Of course not, _he thought to himself._ You don't have any feelings remember? _

Sasuke pressed his hands up to his face and then raked them through his hair out of frustration. The buzz that he had been feeling was slowly beginning to lesson, and he didn't know whether he wanted to laugh, cry, or scream.

He did neither. Because Naruto was back in his room again, slamming the door shut and locking it just before walking up to Sasuke in strides; anger and determination written across his face.

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, but before he could even utter a word he was in Naruto's arms and being kissed in a way that made him utterly speechless. He pressed himself close to the other and moaned at the fire emerging from deep inside of him. It had felt like forever since they'd been together like this. Sasuke didn't know how much he needed it until now.

And then Naruto grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and spun them so that Sasuke could be pinned up against the door. He sensually began to roll his hips, which immediately caused the illicit moans to escape from both of their mouths that were still glued together.

When they finally broke apart it was with a wet smack. Their breathing was intense and Sasuke braced himself up against Naruto's shoulders. They stared at one another for a brief second, but when Sasuke saw Naruto open his mouth to say something he immediately leaned forward and brought their lips together once more. He sucked and bit at Naruto's full ones all the while wrapping his arms around the other's neck and running his hands through unruly blond hair. He had missed that hair. He _would_ miss that hair.

Soon enough they were both pulling at the others clothes, desperately wanting to feel skin. Sasuke's buttoned up shirt was the first to go, and then Naruto's t-shirt was quickly lifted and thrown elsewhere. Their hot kiss was broken, but that didn't stop Naruto from leaning down and attacking Sasuke's neck, biting and sucking until it left bruises. Sasuke moaned and let his head fall back against the door. He moaned even louder when he felt Naruto's hands slide down and grasp at his hips, only to maneuver them around to his backside and squeeze his ass through the jeans he was wearing. Their hips started moving together in a circular motion as well and caused both of their clothed erections to mesh up against one another. It sparked even more pleasure inside of Sasuke.

And then they were moving again. Naruto brought them from the door and over to the bed. They fell ungracefully with a 'huff' and Naruto continued to kiss his way all the way down to Sasuke's chest. When he reached a nipple, he eagerly licked and sucked at it.

"Oh," Sasuke moaned as Naruto bit him playfully. His back arched off of the bed at the feeling of pain mixed with pleasure, but then Naruto pushed him back down with the hand that wasn't busy.

Once he knew that Sasuke wasn't going to move again, Naruto moved his hand over to the front of Sasuke's jeans and rubbed at the noticeable bulge in his pants.

"Ah! Shit!" Sasuke shouted.

Naruto smirked and unbuttoned Sasuke's pants. They were unceremoniously pulled down along with his boxers and fell to the floor.

Before Naruto could even touch him again, Sasuke pushed him off and onto the other side of the bed. He sat up and pulled at Naruto's own jeans and boxers and threw them elsewhere once they were off.

Once they were completely naked, Sasuke put one leg around the other side of Naruto's hip and straddled him. He let out an almost embarrassing moan when their cocks pressed up against each other without any kind of layers between them. They were dripping in pre-cum.

At the same time Sasuke took a moment to admire the tan and built torso underneath him. They were both pretty well off after working out together and taking karate classes for years, but Naruto had a slightly more muscular frame than him that Sasuke often admired.

He leaned down and kissed at Naruto's neck, doing the same thing that was done to him not too long ago and leaving marks. He licked at the juncture that met between neck and collarbone and bit hard. Naruto groaned, and the vibrations were felt on Sasuke's tongue as he sucked and licked at the bruise that was beginning to form on the tan neck. He went further down and kissed at the dusky nipples. This time Naruto moaned.

Sasuke continued on his journey, kissing down Naruto's abs, and then skipping over what he was really after in favor of an area between Naruto's thighs. He sucked hard on the right one and moved his hand up and down the other thigh. When he finally decided to stop teasing, he wrapped his left hand around Naruto's cock and took it inside of his mouth.

"Oh fuck!" Naruto arched into him. Sasuke hummed as he felt the other's engorged cock deeper down his throat. He breathed through his nose and then began to bob his head up and down. Naruto shouted out his name and started pulling at his hair to push him off. Sasuke got the hint and pulled away.

Suddenly, Naruto grabbed him and turned them over so that he was on top once more. He leaned down and captured Sasuke's lips in another hard kiss, then brought one of his large hands up and under Sasuke's chin to deepen it. When the pulled away, Naruto kissed along Sasuke's cheek and all the way down to his ear.

"Lube," he said.

Sasuke shuddered at the feeling of Naruto's breath against him.

"You know where it is."

"Condom?"

Sasuke shook his head and wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck. "I want to feel you inside of me," he whispered in the other's ear.

Naruto let out a shuddered breath. He pulled away just enough to look Sasuke straight in the eyes. Sasuke saw the hesitancy in them, but also the gentleness. He cupped the scarred cheeks above him with both hands, and for the very first time that night they kissed tenderly and without a rush.

* * *

When Sasuke woke up the next morning he was only slightly confused. He opened his eyes and was greeted with the sunlight peaking through the blinds of the window beside him. Groaning, he placed the comforter over his face to escape the light for just a few more minutes. After that he resurfaced and turned to his right side. Naruto was still fast asleep, breathing evenly from what Sasuke could tell. Over the course of the night he had dislodged himself from Sasuke.

Quietly, the paler of the two sat up. Sasuke knew that he had only two options in this situation. He could stay and wait for the other to wake up…or leave.

Briefly he unscrambled some of the hazy events from last night. The anger at Naruto for leaving, the little fight they had, the sex.

"_I love you." _

Those words echoed in his head. Naruto had never said that one before, but that was partially because Sasuke never let him. However, last night was different between them. The energy had reached an all time high, but maybe that was because of the circumstances. Of course there were times where he and Naruto would fight, and then afterwards have loud and rough make-up sex, but that was on a completely different level. In a way, last night almost felt like a…

"Goodbye," Sasuke whispered as it dawned on him. He looked back at Naruto one last time. His strong and muscular back was still rising up and down in a slow, rhythmic motion.

Pushing the covers to the side, Sasuke got up and located his clothes. He put them on in a fast manner and then made his way to the door. Looking at the bed and the person lying in it one last time, he sighed as he unlocked and opened the door. He quietly shut it behind him as he made his way out.

Knowing that Naruto wouldn't be waking up for a while because it was still pretty early, Sasuke walked across the hall and went to the bathroom to at least get freshened up.

Once he was finished, he walked into the front room and was met with Tenten, who was sweeping the ground beside the staircase. All of the furniture that had been moved last night in order to make room was now put back in its rightful place.

When Tenten looked up at him, she glared.

"Of course you wake up the minute I get done sweeping the floors."

Lee suddenly appeared from the upstairs with a broom of his own and walked down them to stand beside Tenten. He had a very animated expression on his face.

"Are you gonna helping us clean, Sasuke?!" He asked rather too loudly for Sasuke's liking. He continued to walk past them anyway without incident.

"No. I'm leaving."

"Now wait just a damn minute," Tenten started.

"Leave him alone, Tenten," a voice called out. Sasuke looked over and saw Neji in the kitchen with his arms folded over the morning paper he was reading.

"Sasuke wasn't the one that I had to carry over my shoulders last night because he drank too much. Nor was he the one to bring all of those people into the house to begin with. This is your guises mess and no one else's."

"But, babe," Tenten whined. When Neji pulled the newspaper up to his face and ignored her, she mumbled a few words under her breath and then sent another glare over at Sasuke. Sasuke paid no mind and walked over to the closet to grab a light jacket. He reached into his back pocket and checked for his car keys before putting on his shoes and heading out the door.

He walked down the porch steps and rolled his eyes at the trash littered on them. He couldn't believe that he actually dealt with these roommates for a year.

Naruto's car was still parked outside on the other side of the street, but Sasuke chose not to look at it.

Just as he approached his car and started to unlock it, he heard the front door of the house opening. Heart beating fast, he quickly turned around. When he saw that it was only Neji, he let out the breath that he'd been holding in.

"Isn't Naruto still in there?" Neji asked as he walked down the porch steps.

Sasuke growled. Once again, the Hyuuga couldn't mind his own damn business.

"Yes. And?"

"I don't think he'll be too happy when he realizes that you're gone, Sasuke."

Sasuke opened up his car door. "I know. But it's better for him if he doesn't see me when he wakes up."

Neji gave him a curious look with his pale eyes. "Or will it be better for you?"

"Gee, I could have sworn that you were graduating with a bachelors degree in business and not psychology," Sasuke said in an icily manner.

"Sasuke—"

"Just do me a favor and text me when he's gone, okay?" He sighed in defeat. "I just…need some space right now."

Without even hearing or looking for an answer from Neji, he got in his car and left.

* * *

Days seemed to pass by. When Sasuke had returned back to the house the day after the party, Naruto's car was gone. All that Neji had told him was that Naruto needed some space too. Sasuke hadn't heard from the blond since then.

He sat on the living room couch by himself in the empty house. The others had gone to a taijutsu tournament that was three hours away from here, effectively leaving Sasuke alone for the next few days. It was fine by him, though. He hated the way that Neji kept staring at him as if he were a disappointed father. He already had one of those and didn't need another one harping down his back.

On and off he'd gotten a couple of texts from Suigetsu and Karin. They had both asked if he wanted to meet up at a bar and then head over to Juugo's afterwards. At first Sasuke actually thought about going, but a second later he ended up declining their invitation. He wasn't in the mood for conversing with people, much less getting himself into something that would have probably only caused him to have a mental breakdown. Plus, whenever he went out and got into that kind of stuff, somehow it always got back to Naruto. His blond-haired friend always chewed him out and voiced his concern about that particular group that Sasuke surrounded himself with, but Sasuke just tuned him out.

He let out a ragged, long breath. As hard as he tried, he still couldn't get that idiot out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the other's face, staring back at him with honest, blue eyes, pleading with him.

Maybe he should have just stayed that morning and told Naruto everything that he was really feeling. Then again there wouldn't really have been a good outcome to it anyway. Naruto would still be leaving after they graduated in a couple of days.

"_But if I had a reason to stay…"_

Sasuke grabbed the nearest pillow on the couch and buried his face into it.

It was so simple! He could have just told Naruto not to go and then that would have been the end of it. But instead he decided to be selfless and practically bought the other male a first-class ticket away from him.

However even in thinking through all of that, Sasuke couldn't bring himself to regret his decision.

Naruto was…brilliant, and not in the way that others would think. He had a big mind, which led to him having aspiring dreams that he often stayed up late in the night with Sasuke to talk about. And Sasuke would find himself listening intently with a small smile on his face as the other talked on and on about people and places, and how beautiful the world could be.

Seeing the world was something that Naruto always dreamed about, and who was Sasuke to take that away from him by asking him to stay so that they could be…

What exactly?

Boyfriends? Lovers?

The words seemed so unimaginable to Sasuke. He only had one other person that he had been really intimate with before, and that was his freshman year of college when he tried to break off his and Naruto's…arrangement. He met another guy and they were somewhat of a couple for about three weeks until Sasuke finally ended things. Naruto didn't speak to him for a month because of that.

And this brought Sasuke to another point. Maybe Naruto was better off without him. Sasuke wasn't exactly the most pleasant person to be around. Naruto was there through all of the shit that went down when Itachi had died. Even when Sasuke tried to push him away and said some of the worst things imaginable, Naruto kept trying to get closer to him until, eventually, Sasuke broke. And although he was able to somehow tie himself back together, there were pieces of him that sometimes came undone; and he would to close himself off from everyone, including Naruto.

It was only a matter of time before Naruto would start to become impatient. Hell, he already _was_ impatient. Sasuke was practically stringing him along at this point and it wasn't fair.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, Sasuke got up and went to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and saw that there was an entire bottle of Hennessy left unopened in the fridge. Neji's doing probably. Sasuke reached for it, but then paused and, with a deep breath, grabbed a bottle of water instead.

He walked over to the cabinets and opened them, looking around for something to eat. Eventually he just decided to make popcorn. Tonight he would just stay in and watch a movie. Hopefully that would take his mind off of some things for a while.

Once the popcorn was done, Sasuke poured it into a clear bowl and walked back into the living room. He placed the bowl, along with his water, on the table in front of the large couch and then went to the bookshelf beside the television and started looking through the stacks of DVDs. One good thing that he could say about having Tenten as a roommate was that she had a remarkably good collection.

Just as he was about to pick out an old horror movie classic, someone knocked on the door.

Sasuke clicked his tongue in annoyance. He would have thought that the other three told their friends that they'd be gone for the next few days.

Nonetheless he walked over to the door and opened it, preparing to tell the person that no one was here. He stopped in his tracks.

Naruto stood there, shifting from side to side, with his hands in the pouch of the orange hoodie he was wearing.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked in surprise.

Naruto shrugged, "I'm a masochist, I guess."

Sasuke shook his head. "You shouldn't be here. Go home."

"Geez, the last time you were practically throwing yourself at me."

"I don't recall that."

"Yeah, sure you don't, bastard," Naruto smiled this time.

Sasuke couldn't help but give a small smirk.

"Can I come in?" Naruto asked after a moment.

Sasuke faltered and then looked down at Naruto's feet. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Please, Sasuke?"

The pleading look on Naruto's face made Sasuke bite the inside of his cheek once he looked up. He opened the door slowly and then finally stepped aside to let Naruto pass. His nerves spiked up just as the other's shoulder brushed up against his.

"Was I interrupting something?"

When Sasuke turned around after he shut the door, he saw that Naruto was looking over to the right and referring to the popcorn on the table.

"Not really."

"Oh, okay."

Sasuke noticed the relieved look his blond-haired friend's face.

"What? Did you think that I was on a date or something?" he asked, bemuzed.

Naruto rubbed at the back of his head and blushed. "Can you blame me? You were actin' all funny at the door."

"Well that's because…" Sasuke trailed off and looked away. An awkward silence passed between the two of them.

Sasuke felt himself beginning to grow anxious. He wasn't ready for this confrontation; then again it had to come sooner or…never. The thought of leaving things the way they had that night scared him more than he was willing to admit. Everything had all seemed so final between them, and at one point, Sasuke was certain that he'd never see Naruto again.

But what was Naruto here for?

Would they end up fighting again? Was Naruto here to end this once and for all? Would he take back everything he said a week ago when he came over?

A hand appeared in front of him and he looked up. Naruto had a warm and sincere smile on his face that made him look five years younger. It always seemed to do funny things to Sasuke's stomach.

He took the other's hand, and let himself be brought over to the couch. They sat down closely beside one another.

When Naruto didn't say anything, Sasuke decided to take the initiative.

"Look, I'm sorry about the other night. I shouldn't have said all of those things…and I'm sorry about the morning after."

Naruto sat there quietly, looking down at their connected hands. He glanced up and met Sasuke's eyes, then took a deep breath. "When I woke up that morning and Neji told me that you were gone…I didn't know what to think. I mean, I know I said some things that night that might have made you feel uncomfortable, but I didn't think that it would be enough to make you run away."

"I didn't run. I just needed some time," Sasuke said in a defensive tone. "But I know now that that was the wrong way to go about it."

"Why? It's not like you hadn't hurt my feelings previously," Naruto said with a smile on his face that only managed to break Sasuke's heart. "That was just the final blow to the gut that I needed in order to finally get that you don't want me in the same way that I want you. It kind of sucks that it came after I finally told you that I love you, but I guess that's my own fault."

Sasuke swallowed back the lump in his throat that formed at Naruto's words. "That's not it. I wasn't trying to hurt you—"

"But you did!" Naruto interrupted, letting go of Sasuke's hand in the process. "You let me fuck you that night and tell you all of those things, and then you just disappeared in the morning. How did you expect me to feel, Sasuke? Please, help me understand."

"I…" Sasuke started. "I'm sorry," he ended up saying again.

"Don't give me that. Just _tell_ me. Why do you get so turned off when I tell you that I love you? Why won't you _let_ me?"

"Because it scares me, alright?" Sasuke admitted. "Those things that you say scare me. And on the night when you told me how you felt…you don't even know how happy it made me feel…but I just…_couldn't. _I already know what it's like to love a person so much and then lose them, Naruto."

Naruto's eyes wavered at the reference to Itachi. "Sasuke…"

"And then you just expected me to be selfish and tell you to stay because of my own feelings," Sasuke went on. "I wasn't going to ruin that opportunity for you when it's something that you've always talked about. If that meant burying my feelings in the process, then fine. You might not think so now, but somewhere down the line you would have ended up resenting me, and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if that happened."

His eyes stayed on Naruto during all of that, and the other looked speechless. There were unshed tears in his magnificent blue eyes, and he looked away from Sasuke to briefly wipe at them. Sasuke sat there and waited, but then Naruto turned back to him again, eyes puffy, and lips turned up into one of the biggest grins that Sasuke had ever seen. And then his friend's lips were on his. Tan hands were brought up and they cradled Sasuke's face so gently that it made him practically whimper at the touch. They kissed for a long moment before drawing apart.

"Naruto," Sasuke breathed.

Naruto—who still had that huge grin plastered on his face—pressed their foreheads together and said, "I didn't think it was possible to love you as much I did before, but I was _so_ wrong."

Sasuke stared back at him with a look of disbelief on his face. He didn't know what to say.

"Sasuke, I've wanted this for so long," Naruto continued, "but I waited until the very end to tell you how I felt because I was afraid of how things might have changed. I contemplated for hours before I came over that night, asking myself if it was the right idea or not. I knew that it was a 50/50 chance, but I just _couldn't_ keep my feelings bottled up inside anymore. And then you told me to leave…" Naruto faltered.

"I didn't mean it," Sasuke quickly said. He closed his eyes when he felt Naruto's lips press up against his forehead and opened them when the other brought his hands away from his face and pulled back.

"When you said it, I thought that taking the internship would have been so easy after that, but when I did I just felt even shittier than before."

"Why did you tell Sakura and Ino about it?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto shook his head. "I didn't. Sakura was there in the car with me when Jiraiya called and asked me about my decision. She wouldn't stop pestering me about it until I answered her. And I had no idea that Ino knew until I got to the party. I didn't even want anybody to know."

Sasuke let out a bitter laugh. Everything had been so screwed up until this point.

"It's my fault," he confessed. "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have felt like you needed to hide it from anyone."

"Shh," Naruto replied and pulled him close on the couch, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke buried his face into the tan neck in front of him. "And if it's any consolation, I don't think I would have wanted things to turn out any differently. That night with you was amazing, Sasuke. Being with you is amazing."

Sasuke clutched the front of Naruto's hoodie tightly with his fingers. He could smell the fresh scent of body wash mixed with aftershave.

"I don't want you to go, but you should," he spoke softly into Naruto's nape.

Naruto nodded against him. "I know. I'm sorry for trying to force you to make the decision. I was just being selfish."

Sasuke shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"What am I going to do without you there with me?" Naruto asked and used his right hand to run through Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke hummed. "Three years is a long time. You could meet someone else…"

Naruto growled and tightened his hold around Sasuke. "Don't even joke about that. The only person that I've wanted and will _ever_ want is you, Sasuke."

Sasuke finally pulled his face out of Naruto's neck to look into his eyes; eyes that seemed to read him in every possible way. He brought his hand up and cupped Naruto's cheek, rubbing at the scars that his lover had often felt so insecure about.

"Even after everything that I put you through? _Will_ put you through?" he asked.

Naruto pointed to himself. "Masochist, remember?"

Sasuke let out a chuckle. Eventually they ended up leaned back on the couch and with Sasuke draping an arm around Naruto, who rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"We'll call each other every day, and Skype at least twice a week," Naruto spoke reassuringly.

Sasuke nodded into blond hair.

"I'll try to visit at least three times a year."

"Mm. Make it four."

"Okay. Four it is."

Sasuke sighed. "This is really happening, huh?"

Naruto brought his head up and stopped to where their lips were on the same level, faces inches from each other. "It won't be forever. I'm coming back."

"I know."

"Because I love you."

"…I know," Sasuke whispered hoarsely. He closed his eyes when Naruto's lips covered his again.

Sasuke poured every single emotion that he held in for several years into the kiss. The anger, the sadness, the hurt, and the _love_. He'd always known that he loved Naruto, whether it was subconsciously or not. It was always there in the back of his mind, waiting for the right time to come into the hard, indiscernible light. He loved this man, even through all of the self-doubt and uncertainty, even through his darkest hours. He loved Naruto with every fiber of his breath.

And as they fell back together onto the couch—completely indulged into the other's very being—Sasuke was sure that Naruto knew exactly how he felt.

* * *

They sat quietly at the airport together, fingers interlaced as they waited for Naruto's plane to be called.

The past three weeks had gone by so fast, almost too fast for Sasuke's liking. They had finally graduated, but along with attending parties, and helping Naruto pack and move his stuff back into his parent's home, there was a lot going on. However when Naruto came back with Sasuke after the goodbye party that his friends had for him, it almost felt like time was on their side as they spent his last night there together. They had shared some of their favorite memories, talked about the friends they knew they'd probably never see again, and of course they spoke of how much they would miss each other. They kissed, hugged, and made love well into the night and early that morning.

It was probably why they didn't have that much to say today. Sasuke didn't mind it, though.

Naruto's old professor and the other three interns weren't too far off from them. The professor was sitting next to a young lady and exchanging words with her, although Sasuke noticed how the grey-haired man's eyes kept traveling down to the lady's partially opened blouse.

"You're right, that guy's a pervert," Sasuke whispered.

Naruto, who was looking down at a brochure, glanced up and saw what Sasuke had been talking about. He laughed. "Yeah. I told ya didn't I? It's hard to believe that he's the guy that wrote my favorite books of all time."

"You mean that porn book?" Sasuke said in disbelief. "If I knew that this was the guy who wrote _that_, I would have never let you go."

"Hey this guy is my hero! Where do you think I learned some of my best moves?" Naruto wiggled his eyebrows and then leaned in closer to whisper huskily into Sasuke's ear. "You never seem to complain then. In fact, I recall doing a certain move last night. It was the one where I—"

Sasuke covered Naruto's mouth with his free hand. Just as he was about to call his boyfriend an idiot, the intercom from above came on.

"_Flight 56 is now prepared to board."_

All playfulness stopped between them when the flight that Sasuke had been dreading was called. He felt Naruto's grip tighten on his hand as they stood up. They waited until Jiraiya and the other interns were in a well-assured distance before turning to each other. Naruto was the first to move and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's shoulders.

"I'll call you as soon as I get settled," Naruto said.

Sasuke nodded into his shoulder and hugged Naruto by the waist. He could feel the other people staring as they passed, but was beyond caring at this point.

"I love you," he said in a whisper that only Naruto could hear.

They pulled apart and Naruto smiled. "I know," he teased.

Sasuke lightly punched him in the stomach. He wasn't prepared for Naruto to take him by the arm and pull him in for one last kiss. Sasuke closed his eyes shut and allowed a low moan to escape just before they drew apart.

"I love you, too," Naruto finally said back with a full-blown smile on his face. He pulled away slowly and then grabbed the handle of his travel bag. "I was serious about the phone sex by the way."

Sasuke chuckled as he recalled that part of their conversation from the night before.

"We'll see. Though I did hear that Skype sex was pretty hardcore."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Have I told you that you're the best boyfriend ever?"

"I try."

Naruto shifted on his feet. His face grew serious for a moment.

"Take care of yourself. And don't do anything crazy while I'm gone," he said.

"Shouldn't I be telling you that?" Sasuke replied.

"I'm serious. Promise me you won't—"

"I promise," Sasuke interrupted before Naruto could finish that sentence.

Their gazes held.

"I'll see ya soon, Sasuke."

"Yeah."

Naruto turned away and started walking in the same direction as the other people. It was only when he was about to walk around the corner that he looked back to give Sasuke one last smile. It held a promise.

"You'll come back," Sasuke said.

And with that affirmed, Naruto walked out of his sight.


End file.
